I have responsibilities

some type of thing

Some type of Thing.

does anyone have the gamer dance gif because i need it

This? 

Hmm…………….. not quite. try again

Only gif I got, boss.

release me you bastard i am not a yummy gyoza dumpling

He had 1 job

was visiting a friend who has a farm, and one of the chickens has a home made flared cone on, so i asked what was up with that and she said "that's diesel, and she's suicidal" so obviously i went ??? and she pressed the door lock on her truck fob so the truck beeped, and this dumbass bird SPRINTED full tilt across the garden to shove her head in the tailpipe. she has to be locked up and coned so she doesn't gulp down toxic fumes direct from the pipe for some idiot bird reason. she is obsessed with doing this and has to be locked up any time someone is using a vehicle.

i told her i posted about this and she has an update (which i guess content warning for animal harm [the animal did it to it's damn fool self])

she found this out the first time when she auto-started her truck to warm it up before work one below-freezing morning and came out ~5 minutes later to find (the then unnamed) diesel with her head stuffed in the tail pipe hanging limply by her idiot neck and thought that she was dead, ran over and pulled her out, and the chicken went "oh hi! anyways mind if i get back in there?" and did it a-fucking-gain??

best guess is bc she feeds her chickens with a pvc gravity pipe like this

and despite having ~40 other chickens who don't fuck this up, diesel went "food comes from tubes, this is tube, ∴ this is the ~secret~ food hole that the others do not know about. i will be rewarded with golden seed for being the cleverest of them all :)" and is now on 24/7 vehicle related suicide watch. fine line between docile and dumb sometimes.

my artists rendition of the morning in question

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!

Do they know. Do they know that they’re predators. Do they even know.

let’s get on mama’s last nerve

official mama post

Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?

platonically shooting my friendshot hoping I don't get acquaintance-zoned

kissing you on the forehead

with tongue?

with tongue. 🥰

Not to brag but what a time to be childless

☀️🎵🎶🎵🎶